Sleep is for Pansies Saturday, March 24, 2007
You might think it insane I’m up at this ungodly hour. Well, I’m right there with you. I don’t know what it is with me lately fighting sleep–one of the major things I cherish in life–but leave it to me to avoid what I want and need.
I could go in a rant about something personal or thoughtful. But, while I’m loopy and not my usual self, I will instead impart you with yet another of my favorite poems (which, by the way, comes from this book I bought over ten years ago that I rediscovered in my closet back at my parents’ house when I slept over last weekend):
(Ooh, an exercise of my 110-WPM typing skills…)
SEX GODDESS OF THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE
I am THE SEX GODDESS OF THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE
so don’t mess with me,
I’ve got a big bag full of SEX TOYS
and you can’t have any
’cause they’re all mine
cause I’m
the SEX GODDESS OF THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE
“Hey,”
you may say to yourself
“who the hell’s she tryin’ to kid,
she’s no sex goddess,”
But trust me,
I am
if only for the fact that I have
the unabashed gall
to call
myself a SEX GODDESS,
I mean, after all,
it’s what so many of us have at some point thought,
we’ve all had someone
who worshiped our filthy socks
and barked like a dog when we were near
giving us cause
to pause and think: You know, I may not look like much
but deep inside,
I am a SEX GODDESS.
Only
we’d never come out and admit it publicly
well, you wouldn’t admit it publicly
but I will
because I am
THE SEX GODDESS OF THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE.
I haven’t always been
a SEX GODDESS
I used to be just a mere mortal woman
but I grew tired of sexuality being repressed
then manifest
in late night 900 number ads
where 3 bodacious bimbettes
heave cleavage into the camera’s winking lens and sigh:
“Big Girls oooh, Bad Girls oooh, Blonde Girls oooh,
you know what to do, call 1-900-UNMITIGATED BIMBO ooooh.”
Yeah
I got fed up with the oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh
I got fed up with it all
so I put on my combat boots and hit the road
with my bag full of SEX TOYS
that were a vital part of my SEX GODDESS image
even though I would never actually use
my SEX TOYS
’cause my being a SEX GODDESS
it isn’t a SEXUAL thing
it’s a POLITICAL thing
I don’t actually have SEX, no
I’m too busy taking care of
important SEX GODDESS BUSINESS
yeah,
I gotta go on The Charlie Rose Show
and MTV and become a parody
of myself and make
buckets full of money off my own inane brand
of self-righteous POP PSYCHOLOGY
because my pain is different
because I am a SEX GODDESS
and when I talk,
people listen
why?
Because, you guessed it,
I AM THE SEX GODDESS OF THE WESTER HEMISPHERE
and you’re not.
Telephone Booth Number 905 1/2 Friday, March 23, 2007
This was my favorite poem for the longest time:
woke up this morning
feeling excellent
picked up the telephone
dialed the number of
my equal opportunity employer
to inform him I will not
be into work today
“Are you feeling sick?”
the boss asked me
“No Sir” I replied:
I am feeling too good
to report to work today,
if I feel sick tomorrow
I will come in early
It says it all, my friends. I was a bona fide DPC-er before I even knew what that meant.
My Js Thursday, March 22, 2007
I am blessed to know not one but two very awesome Jennifers. Then it so happens my other best friend, also part of the J-conspiracy, is Janet. Nothing more needs to be said other than the whole lot of you make my life that much better and brighter. This J was the one who reminded me of this tonight.
Well, well, well Friday, March 16, 2007
Where to begin…
Let’s see, for starters, I’m here at my parents’ house for the night. They (my brother included) are going on a massive outlet shopping spree early tomorrow morning and since I’m a sucka for crowds, non-stop walking for bargains and getting up at the buttcrack of dawn on a Saturday–my one out of two prized days off–I thought, why not? Afterall, I have been known to torture myself.
I’m sitting in my old room and, I must say, it’s a little strange being here. I can’t remember the last time I slept here. Or, wait. I can. November 2005. It was Thanksgiving and Ray and I ended up overnighting what was supposed to only be a half-day stay. That was the year Ray and I introduced Apples to Apples to my family after Thanksgiving dinner. There was Captain Morgan’s Spiced Rum, apple cider, multiple rounds of Apples to Apples, a weird innuendo involving underwear and, well, basically nothing was the same ever since. It was 2 o’clock in the morning or some ridiculous hour like that when the maniacal laughter subsided, people started mellowing down and things finally wrapped up. It was also the first time in a long time I felt at home in my own home. And, it was made even more special because Ray was with me. She was my home, too.
Fast forward to a year and a few months and things are much different. It’s okay, really. I mean, I’m okay. Very okay actually. My family is awesome and lately my life has been pretty awesome, too. I’ve got an awesome brother as well, who is actually laying on my bed right now playing on his laptop. I’m beside him tapping away at my old G4. Together, we’re listening to KCRW and are co-existing within our own little worlds. It’s like old times. In fact, if I had to think back to the last time I lived at home, this exact scenario would pop up in my head and that is a truly comforting, reassuring thing.
If Only the “Case of the Mondays” Were Actually Like This… Monday, March 5, 2007
What a good day. It really has been a good one, not just for a Monday but for any day of the week. Ash is coming over in a few minutes, so I don’t have much time to write. With what few minutes I do have, I wanted to jot down real quickly all of what’s helped me feel so stellar today :
- not feeling the least bit sore after snowboarding yesterday (and still reeling from the fact I finally went since last April)
- morning hike and coffee with Betsy before work
- Anita’s surprise work visit (!)
- 2-hour lunch at Home in awesome summer-like weather that wrapped with a hilarious episode of Betsy explaining math to me and Yvonne
- followed by watching as much of yesterday’s The L Word (on the clock) with commentary from the girls that had me laughing the whole time
- text messages that brought back a very awesome Saturday night
- IM-ing and a pleasant surprise that brought new life to it
Today also marks the 1st day in the 5-day countdown to my last day at the office. Just my co-workers alone made me feel pretty fantastic with their hugs, compliments and extra loving jokes.
